Life Focus Coaching ADD Coach Financial Coach

A symphony of tools for creating peace, order and connectedness in daily life...

Issue #6 by Viveca Monahan

In loving memory of Gunborg whose personal policies included living a simple life, and being kind to children, animals and all living things.

IN THIS ISSUE: You'll always know what action to take if you are clear about your personal policy

• IDEA: Decide in advance how you will react to certain situations.
• TOOL: Design your own Personal Policy manual that grows and changes as you do.
• RESOURCES: Guidance for creating personal policy

IDEA: Decide in advance how you will react to certain situations.

Can you think of a time you did or said something you wish you hadn't? And then did it again? And again? What if you could insure yourself against similar transgressions in the future?

Being a person who generally says what's on her mind, I have sometimes lashed out at a person because of a perceived insult or just because I disagreed with them. With the use of email , my lashings became more eloquent (and permanent). As I think back to some of the ugly eloquence I've propagated via email, I'm reminded of the shame and disconnect we both felt at the time.

About a year ago I created a personal policy for myself to treat my email messages with reverence: to try and be kind or at least civil- no matter what the circumstances; to be conscious of my tone, remembering that there is a live human being on the other end- not a machine or a stone wall.

I cannot claim to have adhered 100% to my own rule, but I've covered that by having these policies: I don't waste my life trying to be perfect; when I feel guilty, do something constructive; remember how comical I am when I take myself too seriously.

Having personal policies are not meant to be hard and fast rules but rather the standards- our own standards - to which we can aspire.

TOOL: Design your own Personal Policy manual that grows and changes as you do.

1. Choose a small blank book, a box of index cards or other vessel into which you can record your personal policies. You may also want to start one for your business or job.

2. To get started, think about yesterday or last Monday ...your routines, activities, relationships. Run a mental movie through your day. What wants to be improved or changed?

3. Create a few new policies or 'rules' for yourself to aid you in making the desired improvements. For example when I reflect on yesterday, I'm inspired to add these to my manual: I prepare a checklist the day before an important appointment I don't drink coffee after 5pm. I follow up with new contacts within 48 hours. I routinely recharge my cell phone on Sundays and Wednesdays

4. Add to your manual as new ideas occur to you, especially when things go wrong. Writing down the solution as a new personal policy will help you to remember it when you need it.

5. Review often until you've integrated your policies into your life.

RESOURCES: Guidance for creating personal policy

• Benjamin Franklin had written rules for conducting his own life, which he detailed in : The Art of Virtue. I remember reading this a few times over the years and know it influenced me - not the rules themselves, but the fact he wrote them down and lived by them.
• Irma Bomeck wrote If I Had My Life to Live All Over when she was dying of cancer. It was sent to me in an email and I saved it. I recently did a check on the web and found it in its entirety in many places. Or if you write to me I'll send you my copy.
• I read Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements a few years ago. Trying to keep those agreements has been both challenging and transformative. (The agreements are: be impeccable with your word; don't take anything personally; don't make assumptions; always do your best). It remains a work in progress.

We welcome your thoughts and ideas. Please write to harmony@coachviv.com