Life Focus Coaching ADD Coach Financial Coach

A symphony of tools for creating peace, order and connectedness in daily life...

Issue #12 by Viveca Monahan

For Paulette, whose exquisite self-care includes beautiful, lasting friendships where we all feel loved.

IN THIS ISSUE: Taking exquisite care of yourself, liberates your loved ones from being a burden to you.

• IDEA: Exquisite self-care begins with believing you deserve it. Consider what value you bring to the world. If you don't know, ask a close friend. And be prepared to really hear what they have to say.
• TOOL: Exquisite Self-Care need not wait until you have the "time". Begin today with this intuitive process.
• RESOURCES: Books to inspire you in your home and your life.

IDEA: Consider what value you bring to the world. If you don't know, ask a close friend. And be prepared to really hear what they have to say.

Alzheimer's Disease. I was 28 years old the first time I heard the word. It was 1982, and my mother was doing some peculiar things…We'd find sugar in the fridge, brooms in the clothes closet, chicken bones in the laundry hamper. The doctor explained something about plaques and tangles in the brain and described the gradual deterioration of memory. Progressive…irreversible…no known cure.

I was just beginning a new life after a 2-year seclusion. My world was wide open as I now was ready to explore new places and ideas. College catalogs and travel brochures littered my apartment. There was nothing holding me down. I was free to leave. 28 and Free.

There was never a question where Mom should live out her days. It's just that the question showed up about 20 years earlier than I would have expected. The shock of it sent me into a new level of seclusion. Only now I wasn't alone. And neither was she.

Years just kind of happened. There was my job, my Mom, the cat, the apartment. My friend, "J" was living overseas for many of those years. Whenever I saw her she would tell me how wonderful I was. I would snap at her every time. What's so wonderful about taking care of my mother? This is what you do. Was she trying to annoy me by saying those things to me? She'd send a note once in a while or make a call. Whatever else we talked about, she always had to stick it to me by telling me what a good person I was.

More years, challenges, changes, highs and lows… and love. My family grew; Mom passed on.

Was it about a year ago, J? I looked my friend in the eyes and thanked her for ignoring my angry outbursts all those years. I told her how grateful I was that she followed her own guidance, gifting me with her kindness and full presence. She was right. I was a wonderful person. She tells me I still am, and I agree with her.

TOOL: Exquisite Self-Care need not wait until you have the "time". Begin today with this intuitive process. If you don't have time to do this right now, please schedule an appointment with yourself for some time in the near future. Block out at least an hour. Call it "self-care planning". You may even want to do this with a friend. And please feel free to add to or change anything. This is only a start!

Your Body:
Are you in optimal good health? Are you in pain or have frequent discomfort? What 5 things can you do for your body that will contribute to your sense of well-being ? When will you do at least one of them? (ideas: a massage, dancing, a pedicure, an aerobics class, Yoga, acupuncture, physical therapy, a chiropractor or medications for pain or discomfort; Reiki, therapeutic touch, meditation, a nutritionist, more sleep, gardening…)

Your Mind:
Are you using your mind to your satisfaction? Are you often bored? Do you have pleasant mental challenges in your life? Are you learning new things? What 5 things can you do for your mind that will contribute to your sense of well-being ? When will you do at least one of them? (ideas: take a "reading" vacation, visit the library, take a class, study something that has always interested you, write a short story or poem, find a chess partner, learn a language….)

Your Spirit:
Do you generally feel calm and peaceful? Connected to people? Connected to a higher power? To nature? To your core self? What 5 things can you do for your spirit that will contribute to your sense of well-being? When will you do at least one of them? (ideas: read an inspiring book, go on a spiritual retreat, take a walk in nature, write a loving letter, meditate, walk a labyrinth, create your own 'sacred space'; go to a concert, an art museum, the ballet; buy fresh flowers…)

RESOURCES: Books to inspire you in your home and your life.

• Shelter for the Spirit by Victoria Moran. Create your Own Haven in a Hectic World. Foreword by Thomas Moore.
• The Way We Pray by Maggie Oman Shannon - Celebrating Spirit from Around the World
• A Woman's Book of Strength by Karen Andes - An Empowering Guide to Total Mind/Body Fitness

We welcome your thoughts and ideas. Please write to harmony@coachviv.com