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Issue #10 by Viveca Monahan

For Kathy, whose gift for unlocking doors to possibility has unleashed power of magical proportions.

IN THIS ISSUE: When you start early to reflect on your year, you create the possibility that the best is yet to come.

• IDEA: "It's never too late to be who you might have been"- George Eliot
• TOOL: Discover someone you might have been.
• RESOURCES: For self-discovery

IDEA: "It's never too late to be who you might have been"

What I love about George Eliot's quote is that she wasn't saying it's never too late to do what you might have done, or to have what you might have had. For some of us it could very well be too late to climb Mt. Everest or own a race horse or wear a size 4. But, to be who we want to be? That's within our control! I really get that now.

For 30 years I have wanted to be a "writer". And for 30 years I have been writing - to myself. What did I really mean by "I want to be a writer"? I meant I wanted to be a published writer. But being a 'published' writer is not something I could control. What was within my control was to be someone who had the courage and conviction to send her writings out into the world. It was within my control to seek help, even though there were no guarantees I would find it. It was within my control to cultivate the discipline to write articles and books and send them to a thousand publishers, all the while knowing it was out of my power to get any one of them to publish my work, or to even read it.

The truth is, when it came to writing, I have never been the person I always wanted to be: a woman with the conviction of her ideals and the courage to present them to the world. I never really went outside my own mind and a few self-help books. I've always lounged in the laziness of writing when I felt like it, never completing anything.

And then there is this bigger truth. As I check my pulse and count my breaths, I know for a fact that I am alive. For as long as that is true, it will never be too late to be who I always wanted to be. And I can start being her right now.

TOOL: Discover someone you might have been

1. Think about something that, for a long time, you wanted to do or have.

2. Ask yourself why it is you haven't done or had this. The rule here is you can only focus on what it is/was about you (your character) that kept you from having/doing what you wanted. Was it fear? Intimidation? laziness? ignorance? selfishness? busyness? low discipline?, motivation? neglect? perceived physical weakness? unhealthiness due to bad habits? procrastination? Something else?

3. While kindly acknowledging those parts of your character that have held you back, describe the character you want to be. And, in fact, already are.

I'll illustrate with my example:

1. For a long time I've wanted to be a published writer.

2. The reason I haven't published anything is because, first of all, I never tried. I was so fearful that I would be rejected, that I didn't take any chances. I've been lazy about writing- preferring to write in journals or short essays for myself or the occasional presentation. There are so many really great writers out there that I sank into discouragement over my inadequacies. I realize now that I have been in the habit of not being a person who would publish her writing.

3. The person I always wanted to be is still fearful of rejection but decides to push through the fear and write anyway. Part of me wants to be lazy because it's easier than being disciplined. It feels good - like having that 3rd or 4th glass of wine. I still like to write in journals and I'm ready to take my chances on the public. Sure there are really great writers out there. Rather than stop me, they inspire me! I can learn a great deal from them. And as I choose to embark on a path of mastery, I too, am becoming a great writer. I am slowly changing my habits from that of a writer who doesn't write to one who does.

RESOURCES: for Self-Discovery

• Everyday Enlightenment The 12 Gateways to Personal Growth, by Dan Millman
• The Circle How the Power of a Single Wish Can Change Your Life, by Laura Day
• How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work, Seven Languages for Transformation, by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow

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