Life Focus Coaching ADD Coach Financial Coach

A symphony of tools for creating peace, order and connectedness in daily life...

Issue #9 by Viveca Monahan

For Lynn, whose creative and passionate spirit leaves a trail of beauty, and inspires good will wherever she goes.

IN THIS ISSUE: When life feels truly overwhelming, we can simply stop. Breathe. Then take the next step.

• IDEA: When there are too many things vying for your attention, check in with yourself to be sure it's really you.
• TOOL: The Next Step: A process to help you focus your attention on right now and immediately after.
• RESOURCES: Innovative sources to help you get through "one of those days".

IDEA: When there are too many things vying for your attention, check in with yourself to be sure it's really you Do you ever have days when you wish someone would just tell you what to do? And then what to do next?. Today I yearn for the peacefulness of a known routine and a quiet, thing-free space...to not be responsible for anyone's life. Or at least to have assurance that I'm not screwing up beyond repair. I want to be still, calm and clear knowing that l am doing what needs to be done without squandering my energy on drivel.

I have known people who really had it together. They always knew what to do in any situation. They were always on time. They went to college right out of high school and afterwards began rewarding and responsible careers. They sent thank you notes and beautiful gifts. Their homes were tidy with comfortable sturdy furniture. They were gracious, pleasant and unhurried. They married smartly at just the right time and knew exactly how to quiet their screaming babies. Their kids were well-mannered and actually enjoyed taking showers. They chose the best schools and attended all the plays and musicals. They arrived early enough to sit in the front row and they never forgot to bring their video cameras to capture those sweet moments. Their lives seemed to flow seamlessly. I have spent many a day desperately wishing I could be just like one of them.

As I sit here now , I try to conjure up the face of one of those model persons in whose memory I have dedicated half my life. Not a single face surfaces. It occurs to me that I created her.

TOOL: The Next Step: A process to help you focus your attention on right now and immediately after.

I use this tool during times of extreme stress, overload or procrastination. It forces a halt to the chaos in my mind; focuses my attention on what I need to do right now. And only looks ahead to the one thing I will do after that.

THE NEXT STEP:
1. On a sheet of paper create 3 columns. The first column only needs to be wide enough to write the time in it. The next 2 columns can split the rest of the page.

2. Write the precise time in column one. In column two write down exactly what you will do right now (a brief sentence). In column three write down what you will do after that.(also a brief sentence).

3. Only do what you said you would do right now. Nothing more and nothing less. Don't let yourself get distracted. If once you get started, you think of something else, make a note of it, but resist doing it!

4. If you change your mind about the next step, just go back to your columns. Cross it out. Write the current time and start again: what will you do right now? What next?

5. Continue in this way only as long as it is useful and keeps you motivated and focused. If it becomes a burden or a bore, stop right now. And do it your way.

RESOURCES: Innovative sources to help you get through "one of those days".

• The mind and imagination of yours truly!! Coach Viv!
• Conquering Chronic Disorganization, by Judith Kolberg
• Healing ADD, by Thom Hartmann. Simple exercises that will change your daily life.

We welcome your thoughts and ideas. Please write to harmony@coachviv.com